A night out on the tiles...

I am not complaining. I am merely observing. How long does it really take a man to get ready to go out? Good question, we chorus... After a ritualistic soak and scrub and shave and more hairspray than will be used in the whole town of Whitby this week, and The Man Himself is ready for the serious game, namely,...the choice of outfit....and this is where I get small doubts about whether (1)the bar, and whether it will still be open,(2) whether there will be more weight loss revealed and a hasty rummage for an even smaller belt, leading to (3) inner panic that the H belt will wrap round him twice (and I shall have to vow never to eat solid food again) , and finally(4) the agony of second guessing how high the hair will be tonight. Does this matter? Absolutely-It affects what heels I am going to wear so we can be at least no less than 6" in chat height in a crowded bar. Note to Diary...go to bar with varying height steps just in case. When it comes to Louboutins v Flats its imperative to know the plan...Its not as simple as John Lobb v Edward Green ,where to a man hair- height matters not a jot!.. Anyway in the immortal words of Loreal; he's worth it. Meanwhile my make up bag has gone missing...and the Persian cat hair floating in the air has added another inch to my height, ruining my heel plans. Call me old fashioned but is nothing sacred in this house? Don't print the answer-I already know.